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So...I've been sick and I think I'm a little less sick now. At its worst it was stumble out of bed and heading to the bathroom and then waking up vividly when the pain from both blood clots in my left leg would erupt with a vindictive burst. Then I would put myself together purposefully. Fighting through the nausea and pain and other pains by focusing on any singular action. Focusing and actually saying to myself silently things like, "I am now going to close the door" or "I am now going to heat the water for the tea." and then "I am heating the water for the tea." I would await the calming of my interior and then risk the drive to work. I worked for the allotted eight hours and then prayed the drive home would be uneventful.; Then once arriving I fed me. I fed Ian (14) I gave the animals some treats and limped into bed hoping to sleep as quickly as possible. I would pop a commercial sleep pill and a melatonin or two and wait to drop off. Then the night was intermittent awakenings till, for some reason, I was able to sleep the last four hours or so uninterrupted. Day after day. Every morning and night I would pass by the "guitar room" and wonder what the point was. My callouses began to wear away. I had no desire to play or repair or sell or buy. I could have cared less.I even contemplated selling each and every one. Not much of a contemplation. I had other distractions.Now I am slowly, slowly healing and I have picked up a few and strummed and picked a we bit. I never thought that I could lose my love of the instruments but I did. At my worst I could have burned them for warmth. So, I'm getting a little better but at its worst it was at its worst. I think I'm back from that place. I hope I stay for awhile.